Can’t find anything to be thankful for…

I just talked to my sister. She still lives in NJ and is going down the farm for Thansgiving. My mind races back, my cells can feel my memories of my family…

My sister lived with my mom in Trenton. When I was little, I’d spend the night before with them. The next day, Pop would come up and our stepfather Gary and mom would cook turkey. Gary’s mother, Gloria (the only Grandmother I remember) would be there too. I remember my mom saying Gloria was the easiest person to be around, she was so quietly helpful and wonderful. I loved jellied cranberry sauce from the can, mixed with taters, corn, and dressing. We would all eat together. Trenton suppers lasted until my sister and I could drive. Then we would go back home to the farm and eat at Aunt Ginny’s and Uncle Joes apartment over the barn.

Everyone dressed up. My family, warm, and genuinely happy to give you a kiss and a big smile when you get there. I never realized it then, but every year, each one of us got older. My cousins used to be young. Now, they have babies of their own. Or, they were spending the day with thier partner’s families…

And I think of my mom. Gone 16 years. She would make sure everyone had every single thing they wanted to eat and drink. Beautiful plates, platters, and gravy boat at a huge table with cloth napkins. Oh, the warmth. The love. You  never knew they wouldn’t be there forever…

As I hang up with my sister, I imagine her driving up our old driveway, around the big house and past the big barn. I sit in my home in Wisconsin, today, the happiest I’ve ever been; and it’s’ because of the past. Where I came from and who I have in my life now.

My mom and dad divorced when I was 4, but they ate every single holiday meal together until my sister and I could drive. They gave us the greatest gift and I didn’t even realize it then. A functional divorce. Two people who loved thier kids more than their right to be unhappily divorced.

Today, Pop and I will eat lasagna and meatballs with Rowan and my other son Brad. Noble is traveling south to play golf with his boss and their family. I am the luckiest girl I know… If you can’t find anything to be thankful for, take a trip back in memory lane. Remember your table, your favorite food, and the people you love…who truly smile when you walk in the door…

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Always,

Happy Amy