JERSEY SHORE SUNDAYS

When I was young, I grew up in New Jersey. I was never a fan of winter (back then) so I dreaded fall. I used to get so sad to see the leaves change, because I knew I would have to wait till summer came back again. The summers were always my favorite. I loved going to the beach and spending time down the shore. Back then, I thought I had forever to figure life out. I spent many years waiting… Waiting for summer, waiting for a boy to choose me, waiting for life to happen to me, and waiting for time to be “right.” I realize now why I waited. I waited because I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know myself. I could have gone toward being anything I wanted. I spent a great deal of time alone, but I didn’t use that time to formulate my plans. What I should have been doing, was focusing on myself. Focusing on my own heart’s desires. I should have been focusing on my purpose. But I told myself what everyone thinks when they’re young; I’ve got forever to figure it out…

When my sons became teens, I was worried about them jumping into relationships. And not because of the physical aspect of relationships; it was about missing their opportunity to get to know themselves. I wanted them to focus on personal growth. I’ve always remembered not truly knowing myself when I was young. I was too busy focusing on relationships that I missed finding my own purpose. I’ve encouraged my boys to find out who they are before they dedicate their time to someone else. When people get into relationships they sometimes lose some of their identity, especially if the two people sharing the relationship are very different from each other. New relationships influence us to try new things, which can be great; but sometimes it puts our own heart’s desires on hold. When I was young, I focused on the relationship more than I focused on building my own life. I never focused on what I wanted. The decision to wait for time to be “right,” put decades between me realizing my purpose. How much of your life is going toward your purpose? Is your life the life you’ve always desired? How much time have you given to living your dreams? Are you waiting around for someone else to be ready, when it’s really up to you to go for what you want?

Today, I’m discovering who I am. I went past my comfort zone and learned how to ski. I discovered two passions I never knew: skiing and loving winter. I would have never found either, had I stayed comfortably tucked inside my comfort zone. Finding who you are, what your purpose is, and living a genuine life is your responsibility. If you’re unhappy, it’s 100% up to you to search your heart and go for your dreams. Everyday you wait/waste, is one day further away from living the life you desire to live. If you’re young and reading this, it’ll be easier to decide to choose yourself; if you’re older it’ll be more challenging to put your needs first.

Where do you even start? The first step is easy… you’ll start by being brutally honest and identifying that you’re wasting your precious time being unhappy. The second step is always alone time. You must dive into your heart and your thoughts and see what it is you truly desire. The third step is asking yourself what your ideal life looks like. The last step is either going for your ideal or deciding to settle for something less.

It takes strength to go toward your purpose and live the life you’ve always dreamed of. Today, I wish you clarity, direction, and the power to choose to make yourself a priority. And don’t worry about losing people when choosing yourself. The ones who love and value you will  be right by your side cheering you on. The ones who walk away or let you go, may have been what you focused on instead of focusing on yourself. Remember, your life is up to you. The sooner you find your purpose, the sooner you will fill your time going for your dreams. I encourage you not to wait for things to change. Find yourself. Life is either going to happen to you, or you’re going to realize it’s up to you, to happen to life…