If today is hard, I got you.

Some of us woke up alone. This morning might be your first Christmas where you’re divorced, or single, or had to wake up after losing someone you love.

If today you’re in unknown territory, here’s the answer. Stop. Sit down, close your eyes and do this: think of whatever you think is missing and give it to yourself.

When you’re falling apart, it’s because your focus is outward. Focusing outward keeps you in an emotional fog because you’re attached to the thing you don’t have. You’re wallowing inside the story, instead of witnessing it. When attached, you don’t evaluate behavior properly, you interpret it with hope. Hope is nothing without action. Sitting around hoping will never get you what you need. Also, stop saying things like: if I just did… if they could have… I wish that…

Those wishes are failing you. You think the answer is regulating the situation, but what you need to do is regulate yourself. Stop outsourcing your safety.

When you feel hopeless, sad, miserable, and alone; you believe your safety can be found outside of you. The only way that will work is when everything goes right and those outside factors are providing safety back to you. When or if that person leaves, so does your safety. Safety does not come in the form of outside reassurance, outside promises, outside responses, or imagined versions of life…

Today, if safety seems nonexistent, you must refocus giving yourself what you need internally. The peace you seek comes from trusting yourself, not waiting around to be chosen. Today, identify the things you think are missing or are going wrong. Create boundaries so the things you don’t want in your life stop happening. Boundaries do not prevent love, they allow the truth to be revealed; because instead of focusing on what you make to happen, you shift your focus on observing what’s actually happening. Slowing down and observing will bring clarity. Clarity is never Hope. Hope is what you wish would happen, clarity is accepting what’s actually happening.

Even if you don’t feel like it, spend quality time with yourself. Provide yourself with what you’re looking for. Start today and become the “someone” who will never leave you. The someone that always has your back. And build a foundation inside of yourself, an inner confidence that strengthens and never goes anywhere. That inner confidence creates calmness, structure, confidence, strength, and lightness.

I know what it feels like to wake up and feel the world heavy on your shoulders. I also know how it feels to NOT have your inner confidence built up. But before you know it, trust builds. And today things may seem like they’ll never get better. It’s just because you haven’t built your inner strength. When you do, it will carry you through everything. You just don’t know yet. I promise building your inner strength is what fixes everything you’re looking for.

You’re not weak, confused, too much or alone. You’re attached to something on the outside and you need to attach in a healthy way to yourself. Detach from what you are focusing on and regulate your insides (STOP regulating the situation). Never outsource your safety. The only reason things feel overwhelming is because you have not learned that you have everything you need to give yourself what you think is missing.

Everything you need is right inside of you, right now.

Remember, detaching isn’t being cold or withdrawn, it’s letting go of the grip that you have on something you cannot control. Turn everything inward, love yourself, support yourself, and you will never feel alone again.

Not only do I GOT YOU, now YOU GOT YOU!

From my heart to yours,

Merry Christmas,

Happy Amy