Walk In Someone Else’s Shoes

Have you ever wanted something you felt was only important to you? I have. I’ve wanted things in my life that no one else seemed to value. When that happens, it gives power to feeling alone. Diving deeply where it comes from, I’ve realized it’s about attachment. I am attached to what I want. When life is going the way I want, I’m an easy going, Happy Amy. When life says “no” to me, I feel like something I want does not have value. What do I do when that happens? I turn everything inward and if I truly value what I want, it becomes an insatiable drive to prove it’s value to the world. I’m like a toy car with a dial on it, wind it up and when you put it down, it takes off it goes like a bat out of hell. That’s me. I turn what I value inward and start winding up my power. That’s when determined Amy comes forward. This is about me, but walking in someone else’s shoes, I wonder how do other people in my life feel about determined Amy?

Walking in my own shoes is easy. I’ve never been pushed by anyone in my life to achieve my goals. My determination comes from deep within. It’s how I move the needle in my life. But what about do other people think? The ones who are with me on my determined path? To be honest, recently, I’ve been met with resistance. Sometimes you must powerfully walk in your own shoes.

In my “past” life… I was married for 14 years before my husband died. The part of our relationship that worked was our shared determination. We both pushed hard on our lives in different ways. He drove hard toward growing his businesses. I drove hard on being a good mom, our house, our life when he got home, and my personal growth. What worked was that respect for each other’s drive. I knew he was growing the businesses to provide for our family; he knew I was driving to keep the home clean, work when I could, and be a good mom. I’ve been on my own for almost 11 years since losing him. In that time, I’ve experienced situations where what I wanted was not valued by others. In those times, I wound myself up and drove toward the things I wanted. I have started and ended relationships that did not align with my values. I put my head down and worked and here are some results: I worked for 2 years to finish my bachelor’s degree at 42 with a 3.79 GPA, learned to ski at 44 and I’m proud to say I can ski well, I am a certified NASM personal trainer at 47, and I wrote and published my first book at 48. Yes, I’m driven. No it hasn’t been supported by every person in my life. Putting myself in other’s shoes, I realize that those things took away my focus from the people in my life while I was learning. Each one of my accomplishments were intrinsic (satisfying the inside). But they were also extrinsic (satisfying the outside). I have always wanted to make other people’s lives feel more valuable. It’s because I know how it feels to want something that no one else in my life values. It’s why sometimes, you must drive forward without anyone’s support.

I got my bachelor’s degree for me – but I wanted to show my sons that I was not going to live without it. I got certified NASM for those who took my exercise classes because it allowed me to bring more quality to the workouts I provided. I learned how to ski to spend time with my youngest son, who wasn’t home in the Winter because he was busy doing what he loved. Learning to ski allowed me to live his passion skiing alongside of him (although he snowboards, so he’ll always be cooler than me). My book is for anyone who has questioned their self-worth or thought it came from someone else. It doesn’t. Your worth can only come from you. It comes from putting value on yourself and the things you want in life.

Some say that the last 11 years were more about me than they were about others. I disagree. We all walk in our own shoes, but with the knowledge that others walk alongside of us. There are times when the things I “should do” come before the things I “want” to do; and there’s times when they don’t. I’m here to tell you, what you want is valuable and sometimes comes before others in your life. YOU ARE WORTH IT. Walking in someone else’s shoes is being mindful and respectful that others may have different needs/wants than you do. Please, never forget WHAT YOU WANT is important, valuable, and necessary. Walk in someone else’s shoes, but make sure you walk proudly in your own shoes too.

Love much, ski hard, #vanlife forever, and self-worth first…because life is waiting for you, to happen to it!

~ Happy Amy

My book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0CRL24P99/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=